Sorry I haven't written since we had the memorial service on Tuesday. It's really hard for me to write these days. For the most part, from moment to moment, I'm doing pretty well, but trying to think about sitting down to write specifically about Jude is really, really tough.
The service was absolutely the most perfect service that I can imagine. Derek and Holly sang three songs that so perfectly fit us and our feelings. Jeff gave a great service, and really gave us a lot of comfort. So many people were there to support us. It was really a great feeling of love. I'm so thankful that God has given us such a great support network to get us through this time.
After the service, a lot of people stayed around and we visited. It almost turned into a celebration of fellowship. I'm glad that even in the saddest of times, we were able to find joy.
Since the memorial, I've been getting by. I break down crying a lot, but I think that's to be expected. I just miss him so much. But I know that he's not hurting anymore, so I'm happy for that.
BJ went back to work a few nights ago. I'm almost jealous of him for having a distraction. He'd think I'm crazy for being jealous of his being able to work. Physically, I feel like I could probably go back anytime, but I know that would be pushing it. Emotionally, I know that the time to heal will help me.
Hopefully, I'll get myself together someday. For now, I'm just taking it minute by minute. Thanks again to all who have prayed for us.