Tuesday, February 17, 2009

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

I went to the doctor yesterday for my weekly heart tone check. Nothing is new...Jude is still there, and is still fighting. It's so incredibly hard for me. We KNOW that he can't survive. The doctors are amazed that he's made it this far. But he still keeps hanging in there. What is he waiting for? Or, more importantly, what is GOD waiting for? There has to be a reason that He hasn't taken Jude to heaven yet. Is it because I haven't fully turned it over to Him, even though I feel like I have? I've tried so hard to be patient. I really thought that was the lesson God was trying to teach me in all of this. But how much patience do I have to have? We found out there was a problem in November. We found out there was no chance for survival in December. I've been pretty patient, haven't I? I mean, I've tried to "hang in there", but I'm tired of hanging in. I'm just ready for some peace and for some closure. I need it desperately. I'm praying God will give it to me.
Thanks again to all who are praying and who have been so supportive through all of this. I wouldn't be making it this far if it weren't for all my friends and New Springs family that have consistently showed me their love.

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